Tales from DG
by TheCreativeWritingsOfMythTown
Summary: Code Red Mountain Dew and Smashed Doritos
1. Chapter 1

Draco Grotto

Chapter 1: Whale Cum To Draco

"Why don't you go make your own community if you hate us so much?", said the voice. She responded with a simple smirk and said, "I will". A few days later the world of Draco Grotto was established. The traveler as they were first recognized as created the world and looks over the world. However the traveler could not do it alone. So there a selected few guardians that were chosen from the world of Draco in order to protect and keep purity of the world. However purity would not last forever.

Other beings from different worlds invaded the world of Draco. These invaders were known as the Horsemen of Mythos. These horsemen brought upon impurity, chaos, and despair. To counter these acts the Guardians were sent out to the world of Draco to prevent the spread and ultimately contain the threat. However each horseman carried parts of a special crystal that is only found in one of the three moons of Draco. This crystal rendered the guardian's powers useless. This made them mortal against the horsemen. Many guardians died out due to this factor. However some went into hiding, fought back or up and disappeared. This is where the story begins.

The sky began to rumble. The planet began to shift underneath the large amount of pressure as the atmosphere quivered. The ground shook from each tremble. It was clear that your mother was walking into the room. The sky erupted in lightning as the bolts dashed across the sky. Barreling down at a fast speed, a large chunk of rock impacted into the planet. The chunk broke into tiny pieces after colliding with the hard pavement that was once a nice little park. However the rock gave way to a pod that held a figure. The pod opened once it made contact with oxygen. The figure stumbled out of the pod in confusion trying to adjust to their surroundings.

They managed to regain their balance and decided to look down at their hands. Made sure that he had clothes and shoes. Then he looked at his name tag. It read, "Hello my name is: SpaceGoblin". However his name was written in uppercase letters and lowercase letters in different order so that it would make the writer's job of having to spell out his name really really hard. So the writer decided to leave it as "SpaceGoblin" because there is no way in high hell that I'm going to take the time to do that. Moving forward, SpaceGoblin reached into his pockets to find a lockette that was buried underneath an absurd amount of pasta noodles. He felt a sudden rush as the pasta noodles grazed his hands. However the lockette appealed more to his eye. Inspecting the lockette, it was a gold brass finish that opened up to reveal two pictures on both sides. One picture on the left contained a building with large white letters that read "Rin's Whip and Chains". The other picture on the right held a photo of a bunch of numbers and letters that didn't make any sense. After closing the lockette he looked up to see the ruined dystopia of what was Draco City. Buildings scorched in flames. Windows busted out. Craters left their marks in the streets and buildings. Rampage could be heard from the streets. It was clear that it was Black Friday. Space took off his sunglasses and said, "Mother of God". Space took to the streets hoping to find a lead to his mystery lockette. He had to be sneaky, the riots prevented him from walking along the main roads. The sound of cars revving their engines filled the air. Bullets came ricocheting off the walls near Space. Space quickly jumped into the nearest dumpster as the humvees passed by. The humvees were painted red from what either looked like Koolaid, blood, or red paint. Probably Koolaid. Space looked up from the dumpster and saw as the sun was setting his bright and shiny light that would lead him to his lead. It was a sign. One that read "Whips and Chains".


	2. Chapter 2

Draco Grotto

Chapter 2: Dildos and Roadburn

Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me. This was played over the PA system in front of the shop. Needless to say it was pretty catchy. Space entered the store to hear the jingle still being played over a bass line. Kinda like most pop songs nowadays that just have vocals over a bass line and some sort of bass drop. God I hate Miley Cyrus. Except when she was Hannah Montana. It was the best of both worlds with her.

The smell in room was filled with industrial lube and other fluids. A dark figure came up behind Space and touched him on the shoulder. His hand was black and leathery and smelled of latex and shame, mostly shame. The figure pulled off his BDSM mask to reveal that is was just Punk. "Oh it's just you Punk. What's going on out there?" Punk looked at him with his serious face. Not like the serious face that he just killed someone. The face you make when you find out your childhood hero, Bill Cosby drugged most of the women he slept with. Or that Jared from subway was a child diddler. "We need to get you to Rin. She can explain everything to you. He led him to the back room where there was a sofa and a few VHS tapes that were unlabeled. God knows what could be on those things. Punk went into another room that was blocked off by an anal bead curtain. Think of one of those bead curtains by with anal beads. It doesn't smell all that pleasant. Space sat there trying to remember what happened before he awoke in the crater. Flashes came to him. Visions of him flying in space and then him all of the sudden falling.

The visions were cut off when Rin came busting into the room with assorted dildos and yelled "So which Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbater 3000 Dildo™ will you be buying?" Punk came running in. "No no Rin, this is the one I just told you about. He's not Shortfrys." Rin adjusted her steampunk glasses, "Oh wait you're Space! You're the chosen one aren't you?" Space looked puzzled. "Chosen one?", he said. "Yes, according to the back of the this Mini Wheats™ box you are to be the chosen one that would save us all from the attackers of Mythos.

This was a lot to take in for Space, "So what you are saying is that I'm supposed to fill some destiny written on the back of a cereal box that is both healthy for your heart and diet as well as crunchy?" Space asked. She sat next to him and dropped her box full of dildos onto the ground. "I know this is a lot for you but we can fill you in as we go. We have to leave now before The Horsemen of Mythos figure out your location. They too know of the destiny and wish to stop it before we can stop them. However I believe that you can do this Space." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a can of spaghetti sauce. "Here hold onto this for good luck.", as she handed it to him. "Now come on. Punk! Start the jeep. The Mythos will be on us as soon as we leave this building." Punk nodded before turning and hobbling to the garage in his latex suit. The two got up and headed towards the garage in the back. There in the garage was an old beat up jeep that was decked out in plated armor and spray painted with red spray paint in hopes of fooling the red mythos humvees. "Mam the car is running I suggest we make our way to the city center in post haste", said Punk. "Step on it then!" She yelled as she took her seat. The jeep screeched as it took off down the alleyway. They quickly reached break neck speeds as they came out onto the highway. Quickly coming up on their tail was 3 red painted humvees. Their turrets quickly took aim at their jeep. "Mam, we have company!" Yelled Punk from the wheel. "Not to worry, I came prepared", yelled Rin as she pulled open a box of rather large dildos. She took a handful and tossed them at the humvees pursuing them.

The dildos bounced against the ground. One managed to jam itself in between a front tire and the wheel well of a humvee, causing the humvee to flip and suddenly combust into flames. Another dildo flopped upwards and smashed through a windshield and killed the driver instantly causing the humvee to swerve off the highway into a ditch. The last humvee began shooting at the jeep. Bullets ricocheted off the jeeps armor but ended up missing the Punk by an inch. Rin smiled as she stood from her seat and took aim. She "cocked" her arm back and threw the last dildo she had. She yelled, "Come on lucky!" The realistic colored and shaped dildo spun in the air as the sun's rays glared off the flying fuck buddy. The dildo managed to hit its mark, perfectly lodging itself in the gun of the machine gun. The gunner continued to fire until the bullets managed to jam and ended up backfiring and causing an explosion. A fire broke out in the humvee. The passenger caught on fire as the gunner exploded into little giblets. The driver screamed as his friends died around him. "War is hell man", he screamed as bailed from his humvee and slid against the ground at a fast speed. The humvee slid off the road and exploded into flames. The driver however was now a fresh meat carpet on the road as road burn is a serious injury and no bandaid can fix that shit.

The jeep sped off towards the city center as the three cheered. A sudden rush came to space as he clenched onto his jar of spaghetti sauce. He felt a strange desire come upon him. However he managed to put his desire down as the 3 continued onward in their journey.


	3. Chapter 3

Draco Grotto

Chapter 3:Quacking Up

After escape near death and a dildo filled situation, the three arrived downtown. The city center was a war zone. It was just like the riots in Baltimore. Except this was that times ten. When an alien race of cunt fucks come barging down onto your planet and fucking shit up, then I believe you have the right to say the situation is fucked times ten. Anyways, the narrator set the mood back to dark and gloomy full of despair as the three rolled in front of a half blown up building. "So what brings us here?", asked Space. "This is the where the last remnants of the Guardians of Draco meet. You see, according to the cereal box the chosen one would come here and meet with the fallen.", said Rin as she inspected the cereal box. "So how do I get in contact with them?", questioned Space.

Just as he asked his question, the doors in front of him flew open to reveal an elevator. "Well isn't this just uplifting", said Punk. "Shut the fuck up Punk!", Rin yelled as the three entered the elevator. The elevator rose as soon as they pressed the only lit button. "I guess we go up", Space said as the smooth jazz started to play over the elevator. The smooth jazz filled their minds with thoughts of a better time where you didn't have to worry about being sodomized in the streets. Or whether or not masked men in red will be kicking down your door and doing god knows what to you. Probably asking if you have time to speak about jesus. Seriously I posted a no soliciting sign on the door, yet they still come. I should just set bear traps underneath my welcome rug.

The elevator stopped at the top floor, the three got out to be greeted by a familiar face. "Whale cum!", cried RosuNeko. Otherwise known as Ross because fuck trying to spell out or pronounce his name without having a stroke or suddenly turning into a weeaboo. Ross hugged all three of them. After hugging Punk he felt a little sticky and a tad confused. Ross was ecstatic to see new faces. "So you're the one eh?", he said as he guided space to another room. "Legend has it that you would come to save us all. However there is one problem.", said Ross as he led him to an alter. "In order to summon The Traveller you need to gather the remaining guardians to perform the ritual. You must go out and save the other guardians and bring them back here! Link… Shit I mean Space!", Ross screamed out. "You must go alone and they the other guardians will present themselves to you!"

Space now knows what he must do. However he must say goodbye for now to his new friends. He interlocks legs with Ross as a traditional formal goodbye according to six months of learning Japanese on Rosetta Stone **™**. He gave Punk a hug, yet felt uncomfortable because Punk was still wearing his all latex suit that chaffs at the thighs. The dude must have some sort of a rash by now.

Finally it came time to say goodbye to one of his closer friends. He walked into Rin's quarters that she set up during his talk with Ross. "I like the pad.", he said as he inspected the anime/nard filled room. "So you have to go alone?", Rin asked half saddened. "Unfortunately yes, I just wanted to come in and thank you for the spaghetti sauce. I will always cherish it." he said as he pulled out the sauce. "No need to thank me, just do me one favor before you go.", she said. "What can I do for you?", he asked. "Promise me you will return in one piece.", she said as she grabbed him by his thrift shop button up shirt. Their lips met with passion and lust. She had been waiting for this moment for some time. She held her feelings back for too long.

Now she saw her opportunity to confess her feelings for her Goblin companion. She unbuttoned his shirt while he ripped off her sweater. Kisses went from lips to neck and slowly making their way down. The rest of their clothes were stripped off with haste, eager to explore each other's body. "I want you take me.", she whispered into his ear as he got on top of her. He positioned his raging hard member into position. He looked back at her for a sign of approval. She nodded, as he penetrated her slowly. Soft audible moans could be heard. As things heated up she began to moan louder and louder until she bursting out at the top of her lungs. "QUACK! QUACK!", she screamed as he rumpled her feathers. The quacking could be heard from the next room, as well as the vibrations from the bed rocking back and forth. It was too hot for Rin. She came to one finally "QUACK" as she climaxed, being followed by Space's climax as well. The two crumpled into each other's arms. Rin passed out from the pure ecstasy that Space had given off. He simply stroked her duck bill and picker her up by her wings and webbed toes and gently placed her back in bed as he dressed himself.

He buttoned up his shirt and stuffed his spaghetti sauce back into his pocket and took to the jeep. There he sped off into the night looking for the other guardians in hope that they would reveal themselves to him. He felt his fingers tingle as a rush came over him as he drew closer and closer to a guardian. He knew his next destination.


	4. Chapter 4

Draco Grotto

Chapter 4: Check Out This Vine

The jeep came to a stop at the old botanical gardens. Once there Space stepped out to look around his surroundings. He felt a guardian near but he feared it was too late because red humvees had been park out front right before he got there. He had to hurry if he wanted to save a guardian. He quickly strapped on his serious belt and tucked his spaghetti sauce into his pocket and made a dash for the gate.

The garden itself was run down from the bombings. Plants were either incarcerated or left to rot. The smell was heavy, burning shrubs and a hint of oozing skin here and there. Space made his down a large walkway that led to an empty fountain. He heard voices in one direction. He knew he was close. Yet he knew also that so were they. Space silently made his way to what looked like inground dome that had a hole busted into the glass roof. Down below you could see a small tree that looked like it still contained life. However there was also life around it, Mythos guards. At the head of the guards was an younger gentleman with a sick grin on his face. Space knew him from somewhere he just couldn't put his finger on it. It was clear that this was a higher up in the chain of command. He couldn't figure out his name. Even though he had a rather large name tag on that said Tarts. Tarts ordered his men to cut down that tree. However when Space went to get a better look, the glass beneath him began to crack. "Shit", he thought, "I sure hope my spaghetti sauce will get me out this one!". The glass eventually gave way and he fell to the ground with a large thud.

The dust settled and Space looked up to see that he was surrounded by guards. They all had their guns trained on him. Tarts stepped out in front of one of them and said, "well what do we have here?" He examined him closely as he flipped his hair back. "So you're the chosen one eh? I was expecting some blue haired girl with an obsession for fan fiction and extreme murder. I guess you'll have to do then." He ordered his guards to stand down. The guards lower their guns and instead they grab Space by the arms and force him to watch Tarts. "Im going to make you watch the death of guardian right here in front of everyone!", he shouted as he reached for his axe. "Time to chop down all your hopes and dreams of ever winning this war!", he said as he prepared for his swing.

However Space's pocket slipped open and his sauce rolled out to the ground and began to glow. The light was so grossly incandescent that it just made you want to shower yourself in Sunny D **™**. All of the sudden the ground shook from beneath them. Roots began to break through the cracks in the ground. The vines on the walls started to grow at excelled rates. The tree opened up to reveal a figure surrounded in plant life. It was Spyra The Plant Guardian of Draco!(insert anime in awe face here). Her eyes glowed white as she controlled the plant life around her. She quickly took control of the vines on the walls and proceeded to get rid of the intruders. The vines shot out from the walls with incredible speed. One vine pierced through the helmets of one of the guards. Another vine came shooting across and pierced through the necks of three other guards. They all screamed until their windpipes were torn through with vines. Another guard threw down his helmet and took off running. One vine grabbed him by the ankle and tripped him as another penetrated through his ear drum and out the other. Space stood up and brushed the dust off his pants and stuffed his sauce back in making sure it was nice and secured. Tarts dropped his axe and quickly found himself against a wall. That was a bad decision on his part because four vines met him, grabbing his wrists and ankles. Tarts had seen enough hentai porn to know where this was going.

"You fucking let go of me you plant filled cunt!", He yelled as he tried to struggle to break free. "That's not very nice to say, maybe we need to shut you up", she replied as her vines took position. One by one, the vines penetrated each hole they could find. Even his eye sockets. Tart's screams were muffled as a vine went straight down his throat. An army of ants began to crawl down the vine and into Tart's throat. They squirmed as they tried to fill every little inch they could with their size. Spyra then retracted all her vines to drop Tart's mangled body onto the floor. Spyra stepped out of her pod to greet her new friend. "Hello Space, I knew you find me. The plants tell me a lot of things. Especially what you did last summer. Now we must find the other guardians before it is too late. I only fear that the worst has come to them ever since the plants died off in their areas." Space looked several marijuana plants growing off to the side before hearing what she said. "Do you mean that you know where the others are?!" He asked as he turned his head around after stuff a few plants in his pockets. "Why yes I can take you to the nearest one.", she said. "Well then we have no time to lose!", he yelled as she took her by the wrist and took off towards the jeep.

Visions came to Space as he sat down in his jeep. He remembered being high in space when they came. They came so fast and when they did he felt himself losing his memory and falling. He quickly snapped out of it before realizing that he began to drive. "So where to next.", he asked his plant partner. Spyra drew down her fox hood and readjusted her foxy tail attached to her fox onesie. "I believe that I have not seen Venom in a while. Maybe we should go pay him a visit and who knows maybe he recruited other guardians with him? Maybe it'll make your job a lot easier (and the writer's). 


	5. Chapter 5

Draco Grotto

Chapter 5: Venom Blood & Gravity Gang

The underground redlight district reeked of countless acts of shame, and a hint of cinnamon, but mostly despair. The red light district went from getting a quick fuck around a corner to having to watch every corner because it was a war zone down there. Mythos Guards were everywhere. They knew about the other guardians hiding out down here and wanted to get to them first before the chosen one could.

The two pulled into the side street that led down into the district. Empty red humvees were scattered all around, as well as bodys but letting those piece of automotive machines just sit to rot is a serious crime against humanity. Guns piled all around, guns shooting in the distance. This was home to the ones that lived here. The Red Guards moved in formations to get better vantage points against the gang of rebels that were hiding out down there. The rebels screamed out as they started to fire at the guards. Spyra and Space made their down an alleyway to avoid the gunfire only to be met with guards moving through. After Spyra individually raped all of them with her vines they came out into an open street. The coast looked clear so the two made a dash for it. Before even making it halfway, they were surrounded by rebels on all sides. A younger looking one with acne all over his face, came forward and demanded with his squeaky voice, "Who are you!? You don't look like Guards! State your business here or die!" Spyra looked at Space for an answer. "I am here looking for the other guardians", said Space. "Was that you who did all that plant shit to those Reds out there?" asked the squeaky boy. Spyra nodded.

"All right, I'm Gravity and we run a gang down here. I too am a guardian. So that must mean the prophecy is true. We have no time to waste. Let me escort you to our leader.", he said as he bowed before Space. They hadn't a moment to lose. The two were led by their paint huffing friend who led them to a run down strip club known as the SpearMint Rhino(aka where your mom works). Inside, the main stage area was filled with poles and various people grinding on poles. However on the main stage was the main attraction. Huge uncut raw meat mangling it's way down the stage. Her high heels were stuffed to the brim, almost breaking with each step. Her low cut jean shorts were on the verge of bursting off. Im surprised the she got the button on. She wore a skimpy bra that contained her massive sagginess. Her hair belonged from the 80s and not the good kind. She flopped off her bra exposing and letting loose the avalanche of meat that could be considered breasts. She flopped her tits to and fro, like a lady version of meatspin. Instead of dollar bills being tossed, the crowd began to vomit. Even the vomiting caused some of the other strippers to puke. Hell even the bartender was puking. Now I'm puking for even writing this. May god/flying spaghetti monster/what other god/gods you believe in so I don't offend anyone give me the strength to finish writing this. "You go mom!", yelled Gravity. Classic Karen. She will always have a place in our heart 3. "Man I don't know I think Walter has been spending too much time on xbox to come up with that paragraph about Gravity's mother.", Space said to Spyra. "Maybe it's because xbox is the place to find out who your mother has been sleeping with?", She replied to him. Now let's stop breaking the fourth wall and get back to the story.

Gravity led the two into the back VIP room (minding the vomit on the floor of course). There they were met with VenomBlood. Or Venom for short. "How may I help you two?", he asked as he lit up a cigar and took a sip of his 40. "Well we need to reunite the guardians to summon the traveler, and I believe that you could help us Venom.", Space said. "I can help you locate and summon the other guardians to you. However there is one problem. In order to do so we need to destroy the jammer that is blocking me from contacting the others.", Venom said as he took another swig of his 40. "So where is the jammer then?", asked Space. "Well it just so happens to be on the tallest building.", he said as he pulled out a picture of the KFC headquarters. "See here is the jammer", he pointed to with his finger. "The jammer requires it to be destroyed up close. We can't get to the jammer by air because it is heavily guarded by those fuckhead Mythos. So you need to battle your way up a building and destroy the jammer. I am willing to lend you my gang to assist you in the process if needed." Space turned to Spyra looking for her opinion. "It's not a good idea but it's the only one we have.", she said. "Well looks like were going to have to "wing" it.", Space announced. The two geared up with guns provided by the gang. The two, followed by the gang marched their way out of the red light district taking Humvees for the rebels and the jeep with them. The now rag tag army took off towards KFC headquarters in hopes of reuniting the fallen and putting an end to this insanity.


	6. Chapter 6

Draco Grotto

Chapter 6: Chicken Buckets and Unexpected Guests

War was on the brink of breaking out. Word got out that there was a rag tag team set out to fulfill the legend on the back of a cereal box. Forces were building. The Mythos were growing restless with the failure of killing Space. So they decided to send three lieutenants this time to deal with the matter. Each lieutenant was given command of their own quadrant to hunt down Space and his team and terminate him. Meanwhile Space held onto his sauce for dear life as the rebels backed behind him in pursuit of the KFC headquarters. Man this is making me hungry.

Gravity alongside Venom both came behind Space to have a word with him before coming upon the KFC building. "Now Space, we know that this building needs to fall, but if needed we will risk our own lives for your safety.", Venom said. "Aw thanks guys, here have some noodles I kept safe in my pocket.", Space said as he reached in his pocket, flopping noodles all about. The building was surrounded from bottom floor to the roof with Guards. At the top stood the first lieutenant, Count Orlock. I don't understand why they would put a low ranking lieutenant in charge of one of the more crucial spots to protect, but hey thats up to the writer. Without a plan, the rebels charged at the building screaming and yelling and shooting. Who needs a plan when you can go in guns blazing?

Bullets went every which way. You couldn't tell if it was raining, or stray bullets flying towards you. Space and Spyra quickly ducked inside the building only to be greeted by Mythos wearing KFC buckets on top of their heads. Needless to say, it made them better targets. I guess that's what happens when you are too lazy and greedy to provide proper equipment to your army. THANKS OBAMA. Venom and Gravity stumbled their way through each floor, eating chicken in one hand shooting fully automatic rifles in the other. Making their way to the roof was not an issue. Once there, Space and the gang were surrounded by Mythos (again). Count Orlock began his speech about how their evil plan will succeed and the bad guys will win… blah blah blah. You know the whole evil villain works.

Count Orlock knew they weren't paying attention because of his monotone voice and the fact that it was only 4.69 for a "doublicous" combo meal. Now that is a steal if I ever heard any. Count Orlock Bashed Space in the ribs to get him to pay attention. Space began to cough blood as Count leaned down to face him and knee level. "Im going to make an example. Guards grab Venom!", Count demanded. The guards picked up Venom by his arms and dragged him over to Count in front of everyone. Count drew his stick that was located up his ass and proceeded to beat Venom with it. Gravity cried out to him, "Venom nooooo! Don't you dare kill my lover!".

Count Orlock just kept laughing and laughing as he beat the helpless Venom with his stick. Im sure it didn't smell too good either. In the distance a sound of a helicopter could be heard. A helicopter painted red marked with a Mythos symbol on it approached. Maybe it was their leader to execute them personally. The helicopter hovered just above the building to face everyone. The sliding bay door opened up to reveal a man on a mini gun.… Walter! Who would of guessed that in a hero's desperate need, the writer would write himself in at such an opportunity. The mini gun roared to life as the Mythos quickly caught on. "Oh shit.", Count orlock said as the mini gun tore his ass cheeks off, forever not allowing him to sit ever again. "What a pain in the ass", said Walter as he continued onward with his rain of bullets. Kingdom Barrels came barreling out of the helicopter next with a grenade launcher in both hands. She unloaded her grenades on the unexpecting guards as she fell. Tiny bits of guard meat went flying everywhere. It was like spaghetti sauce flying but not as tasty, or as pleasant. The helicopter started to lose control as the pilot left the cockpit. Walter took out his paper and pencil instead and jumped out. The pilot came jumping out following Walter. Wait holy shit it's Wendell! She's not even in this fan fiction! What a cameo! She quickly drew her sword and started slicing into the nearest Mytho. KB ran out of ammo for her grenade launchers and thought fast. She quickly drew out her tennis racket and started bashing skulls in with the stick end. I'm no tennis expert but those things hurt if someone bashes your skull in with one of those. The helicopter finally hit the ground and exploded causing the building to shake. Meanwhile, Walter took to his paper and pencil and began writing Guards out of existence. Wendell cut her way through the crowd. Cutting, slicing and even dicing her enemies. It was only a matter of time until they got to Count Orlock. "Please don't hurt me!", Count cried as he got onto his hands and knees begging for his life. "Nah.", said Walter as he stabbed in the cornea with his pencil. Count began to scream like the little bitch he is. Then KB kicked him in the gut knocking the wind out of him. He slumped over, pencil still in his eye. He began to bleed from his eye socket as Wendell lifted him up by his head. She place a brick underneath his head and positioned his upper jaw to sit on top of brick. "Curbstomp bitch!", she yelled as she stomped on his head causing his teeth impact outward and inward into his gums. Count Orlock contracted a rare form of Syphilis and was unable to speak again for the rest of his life. He then later died in a horrible giraffe rape case that was never solved. It was suspected that the Jerry the Giraffe from Toys R Uswas the prime suspect.

After untying and freeing their fellow friends. Space asked, "Hey Walter, if you have the ability to manipulate the story, then why didn't you just write out that we destroyed our target to make your job easier?" Walter grinned and said, "Well you see it's no fun that way. It's always the unexpected that keeps readers reading. If you just had a boring plot that made sense then it would just be a snooze fest. However if you keep the readers on their toes and keep them guessing, then it's a fun thing to read." Space agreed with the fact that he was right. Or Walter wrote him to agree with him. "So what are you guys going to do now then?", Space asked. "Probably go home and watch a movie and make some food. I got this stupid fanfic to write for this one server. It's nothing really here let me give a link to it so you can read it.", Walter said as he handed him a dog bone. "So you're not going to help us?", Space asked. "I will come back once everyone else is ready to take on the Mythos.", Said Walter as he wrote in a plot device to take him, Wendell, and KB home.

After destroying the dish. Venom needed a day to heal himself back up to strength from the "shit" he went through. In the mean time, the rebels moved all their equipment to the DG building where Rin and the others awaited them. After a day or so, Venom finally recovered and was ready to call forth the rest of the guardians. "Are you ready to do this?", Venom asked. Space looked at him with his most serious face and said, "Ready Spaghetti."


	7. Chapter 7

Draco Grotto

Chapter 7: Here Cums The Caverley

The sounds of many battlehorns blew off. The roar of a thousand trumpets played. Tubas in perfect harmony. Space just got finished taking the dump of his life. After washing his hands he came outside to be greeted by Rin who took his arm and Venom who didn't take his arm because that sweet piece of ass belongs to gravity. Gravity came in the room to confirm this with a simple nod in the doorway before leaving.

"Are you ready to do this?", Venom asked. "Ready spaghetti", he said. Venom cracked his knuckles and slapped his hands together to prepare all his power in his body to summon the guardians. Venom braced himself as he was going into super saiyan mode. He screamed at the top of his lungs as endured all the energy he could muster. He logged on to his AOL account and made a group message for everyone to meet at their location.

Needless to say, everyone got the message. From out of every far end, every corner, every dimlit bedroom came the last few Guardians of Draco. There standing before Space was: Flo, Rouge, Cheyenne, Brian, JohnTrashCan, Kestro, Unbounded, Obsidian, and Turbo. These were the last few who survived the onslaught of the Mythos. Space welcomed each and everyone of them with open arms and noodles. Punk broke the greetings with what they had to next. "According to the cereal box, it says that with the combined power of the guardians, the chosen one must summon The Traveler at the altar.

"How am I supposed to summon The Traveler if I don't know how?", Space asked. Punk looked at him and said, "Just try to remember. I know you can do it. We are this close to ending this war and returning peace to this planet!", Punk said to him. "I'll try to remember", Punk said as he cleared his head and focused. He sat down thinking hard to see how far back he could see. Then it hit him.

6 years ago at the age of 18, Space remembered it clearly. He was just a boy, but now it was all clear to him. He was playing with toys in his fuzzy pajamas. His father called him a fagget. Space wept at his father's disownment. He went to bed that night without any dinner. He cried himself to sleep. Then in his slumber he was awoken by a strange being. Their warmth radiated off their body with their hand on his shoulder. He was half awake to see Shrek himself standing before him. Shrek yelled, "THIS IS MY SWAMP!", Space cried with tears of enjoyment as his love arrived at his time of hardship. Shrek yelled as he pinned him down. "IT'S ALL OGRE NOW", he roared as Space spread his butt cheeks for Shrek. After he was raped by the pop sensation Shrek, he passed out from the experience.

That paragraph had nothing to do with Space trying to remember how to summon The Traveler. However he did remember one thing. He remember his visions. Piecing them together he made out what he doing before waking up in a crater. In his attempts to stop the Mythos, he tried to get on board of the incoming Mythos ship. However he stopped by their defences and fell out of space into the planet. He felt his pocket tremble, he thought about what Rin said and proceeded to the alter. There he stood before the alter. He reached into his pocket, withdrew his jar of spaghetti sauce. He looked at it for one last time before smashing it on the floor, spreading sauce and glass everywhere. He then stripped all the clothes off his body and began to flop around like a noodle. Everyone gathered around him as he wiggled in the sauce. They joined hands and began to combine powers. The power with each wiggle intensified. Lights began to flicker and the air began to hum with the sound of electricity. Then the room went dark as a flash of purple filled the room. When the lights came back on, there stood InvertedAuido, The Traveler and creator of Draco.

"So what's the issue now?", She said as a missile came crashing into the building. The missile itself managed to not harm anyone. But it sure left a pretty big gaping hole in the building. "That's what we're dealing with.", Punk said as he pointed to the large space carrier coming into orbit.

The Mythos grew impatient and were now taking matters into their own hands as they sent their space carrier to assist the troops down on the planet. "Let's get to work then.", said Inverted as she took to the elevator. "I guess we follow her lead then.", said one of the guardians. The rest followed behind her. They made their way along the rooftops to see the carrier coming into orbit. The idea sprung together when someone said that the thing was as big as Moby Dick **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**. They quickly aimed their harpoons and waited for the signal. The carrier came just within reach of their sights when they launched their harpoons onto the ship. They team gathered onto each of their ropes that had made contact and began to climb. The ship budged as it was unable to go anywhere. After somehow managing to break through the exterior walls of the ship, they found their way inside of women's bathroom where they found kkflarg jerking off to Good HouseKeeping Magazine. Before he could react, he quickly found himself face down into his own toilet where he had just laid a rather disgusting release of a case of the Taco Bell Shits. They tied his arms around the toilet base and his legs to the "Shits about to get real bars" located on the sides of the stall. They left him there, to die in his own shit.

The team decided to split up in hopes of covering as much ground as possible in order to ensure the most amount of damage possible. That way the writer could focus on each individual character instead of referring to them as a group because that is just lazy writing.


	8. Chapter 8

Draco Grotto

Chapter 8: Going With The Flo

Flo ran down the hallway as fast as he could. "Shit he thought", as bullets whizzed by his head. "Shit, shit, shit, shit!", He screamed as he blew bursting back into the women's bathroom to unload the most massive dump of his life. He knew Del Taco was a bad idea. He froze when he heard footsteps coming into the bathroom. He thought fast and pulled up his feet to avoid detection. Voices echoed off the bathroom walls. Most of it was just swearing and asking where he went. He kept still as the footsteps passed by. However one guard went into the stall next to him. He dropped his pants and began to unload his unearthly load into the toilet. Flo then noticed a convenient glory hole into the stall and took the opportunity to stick his piece (his gun) into the hole and fire sporadically. The sound of screaming and shit flew all over the bathroom as the gun shots made their mark.

After that shit storm, Flo found himself wandering down another hallway. Eventually getting lost and having no idea where he was, he looked at the guest information sign to see that he was on the lunch deck. There standing before him, ingesting whatever was in front of him was the sloth riden Dr. Awesome. He sat at a lunch table alone, devouring whatever slop he had in front of him. Little meat chunks stuck out from his pedo goatee. He took a second to take a look up from his food to realize that it was no Mytho. It was Flo From Progressive, and he wasn't here to sell car insurance. He was here to sell bullets. Dr. Awesome in rage flipped the lunch table out from under him, sending food and plates everywhere. Dr. Awesome quickly slumped down to use the table as cover as he began spray a heavy machine gun out in bursts at Flo. Flo managed to think fast and kick a table up as well. But instead he fired as he pushed the table as cover. He reached just within arms grasps of Dr. Awesome's table. He flipped the table back to its original position while Awesome screamed like a little bitch.

Flo then stood up and kicked the gun out of his hands as he took aim at him. Dr. Awesome in a desperate move, grabbed Flo's leg and made Flo lose his balance and made him trip, conveniently dropping his gun as well. They both got up and scanned the room for the nearest weapon. However their guns were sent flying to other ends of the room so going to grab them would be useless. So they thought of the next best thing. Dr. grabbed a fork while Flo picked up a plate. Dr. swung his fork at Flo, but to be only blocked by his plate. Flo then bashed his plate on the top of Dr.'s head causing him to flinch and scream. This was his opportunity for him to grab his fork from him. Flo punched Dr. in the gut while he grabbed the fork from him. He then swung upward with the fork into Dr's eyeball. "Fuuuuuck!", he yelled as he screamed bloody murder. Flo then began wailing on his excuse of a face, fork still in eye. Flo then went into Bear Grylls mode and took a plastic fork and stabbed it into the chest of Awesome. Awesome began to go into a panic and he started kicking his tiny little baby arms and feet in hopes of breaking free. However the rage in Flos eyes showed his blood lust. Flo began making a Y-Incision into his chest before pulling out Dr.'s intestines and kidneys. "WHOS THE DR. NOW?!", Flo screamed as he took a bite of Dr.'s kidney. Flo then started hollowing out the rest of Dr.'s insides until he was just a shell of the somewhat-man he used to be. Dr. went into a extreme coma from the pain and died when Flo used his lungs as earmuffs. Flo crawled inside of Dr. and began to mold his body/skin into a large coat for him to wear.

The lunch room floor was littered in organs and blood, or maybe red koolaid if you're an optimist. Mythos guards came in to witness the horror before them. However they panicked and fled from Flo because of the grunts and the site of Awesome's face stretched over Flo's head.(eyeball still in eye socket of course). Flo went into beast mode like Sonic in Sonic Unleashed, the really shitty game where Sonic turns into a werewolf. Let's be honest, Sonic games are not what they used to be anymore. Flo busted through doors, killing any guard in his sight. He tore his way to the flight deck where the cockpit/command center were.


	9. Chapter 9

Draco Grotto

Chapter 9: A Puckish Rouge

Rouge ran as the guards were on his tail. He closed as many doors as he could behind him. The footsteps stopped following him as he ducked down into a garbage shaft. There in the garbage shaft Rouge was confronted with his worst nightmares. The worst possible time and worst possible place to face such a fear. There stood a horde of clowns in the large trash compactor.

The clowns honked their noses as they pranced around in there big shoes laughing maniacally. Rouge curled up into a ball as the fear set in. The trash compactor began to move inwards. However Rouge saw a ladder on the other side of the clowns. This could be his chance to make his way out. So he leapt for it. Instantly he was bombarded by clowns. The clowns pinched and tickled him as the crushers grew closer. The clowns became cramped as the reached out towards rouge as the crushers pushed closer and closer together. Rouge barely managed to grab onto the ladder to pull himself free, however a clown grabbed onto his foot. The crusher was now beginning to feel the pressure of the clowns as the two crushing plates began to crush the bones of the clowns. The clown clenched for dear life on Rouge's foot as he screamed for dear life. The crusher popped the clowns like a pack of all red gushers. Thankfully Rouge made it out alive as he made it up the ladder. There he was met with laughter as Lyra simply laughed at how ridiculous the situation he was in.

She laughed as she drew a picture of him being molested by clowns. It was quite a pretty picture. He turned back to see that one of the clown arms was still stuck to him. He panicked, and thrusted a kick. He turned back to see if Lyra was still laughing, however she was nowhere to be found. He shook his head in disbelief before getting up onto his feet.

He managed to make it out only to be surrounded by many Mythos. He look all around to see guns trained at him head. "Any last words?", said one of the Mythos. "Yeah", said Rouge as he reached into his pocket to reveal his pet hamster, Mr Wiggles. "Go get em boy!", he shouted as Mr. Wiggles jumped out from his pocket onto the floor. The Mythos guards just laughed as the tiny hamster crawled up to one of them. "aw look at him, he's so cute as he lowered his gun and held him up to his face. Mr Wiggles then pounced onto his face, ripping out his eyeball. Mr. Wiggles then crawled inside his skull up into his brain where he scampered across his motor functions and caused the soldier to start shooting in every direction. Pandemonium broke out as Mr. Wiggles pounced from body to body, nibbling at their innards. Men screamed bloody murder as Rouge ducked underneath a body to avoid bullets. Minutes later the screamed stopped. The walls had been painted in a very heavy base coat of Mytho's patented brand blood. Freshly extracted of course. Rouge rolled the body off the top of him and viewed his pet's creation. He found Mr. Wiggles nibbling away at a man's dislocated knee joint. "Good job Mr. Wiggles", he said as he put him back into his pocket. After dusting off his designer boots, he made his way upward to the control deck where he would attempt to meet up with the others.

However the writer became bored writing the end to this chapter so he took a break from writing and ended up watching youtube videos for about an hour, only to realize that he had made plans to go take a drive out to some sand dunes in the local area with his girl. So he quickly got ready for the day and drove over to her house. He could not believe how lucky he was to be with his 7th grade crush. Really cheesey hopeless romantic shit blah blah blah. After a fun day, he drove her home and they said their goodbyes. He returned home to do some writing and maybe play a few games in his spare time. However his phone lit up with a text. Normally you would think it would just be a normal text. However it was "that" text. The dreaded text that you know will only be nothing but bad things to come. His fears were confirmed when it was her admitting that the feelings she had given were false and that even though they have been through a lot with each other, it would just not work out. A brief moment of sadness came over the writer. He lost the ability to write for a few days while taking all this to thought. Why do things like this happen to those who only mean good things? Many thoughts of these came through his head as he contemplated his next move. Depression came back for a day or so as fear that it would only get worse from here. For when he was truly once happy, it was only false.

Then it hit him. He can not be happy. However he can do everything in his power to make others happy. It was the only thing he was good at. Whether it be an act of kindness or a small favor. He would perform it at random to those close to him and his friends around him. He knew his purpose was not to try to make himself happy anymore, but to entertain those who he held close to him. He now saw purpose for himself and at the end of the struggle in which overcame him, he found new light. This new light seemed better than the dim outlook that came upon him before. His life had meaning. Not many can say that they have that. It brought on a wonderful rush of dopamine into his brain. He had purpose. So then he began to write again. For those who enjoy reading what he has to share, for those who enjoy everything that he does, for those who care about him. And so, the fan fic went on.


	10. Chapter 10

Draco Grotto

Chapter 10: What's The Natter Cheyenne?

The F-4 Phantom, armed with heavy M61 Vulcan rotary cannon came guns blazing down on the ship. It launched its missiles before having to activate it's flares from the AA mounted onto the ship. The plan dove and weaved as missiles nearly hit their target. Top gun music was playing as Tom Cruise rode by on his motorcycle while doing a fist pump in the air. The fighter pilot did a barrel roll to avoid oncoming missiles. However one got lucky and managed to hit the pilot's tail wing. The gunner turned to see incoming ships to aide the downed ship. The gunner with all their might managed to move the rear gun even though the tail was damaged. The gunner took aim and fired at the oncoming ships. Many of the ships went down, but so were they. The pilot pulled up as hard as they could to miss the ship. However they aimed straight for a control tower.

The crash sent ripples and tingled nipples throughout the ship. The pilot crawled out of the burning fuselage to see that their gunner survived the crash too. The gunner managed to crawl out as well and the two stood before each other. They removed their oxygen connections and removed their helmets. They wooshed their hair back as if it were one of those cheesey Loreal commercials that just seem to overhype their shampoo. Even though it leaves your hair smelling fruity. "Can't believed we survived that crash", said Cheyenne as she reached for her pistol. "Yeah it's like the writer wanted us to live for narrative purposes", Natters said as she checked to see if anything survived the wreckage. Lucky for them, a few guns remained in good condition.

After arming up, the two went their own ways to cover as much ground as they could. Natters kept mostly to herself as she made her way down the control tower and into the dining room where she witnessed Flo making a wearable accessory out of Dr. Awesome. How lovely did his face look outstretched over Flo's head. She continued onwards down to the engine room after getting lost. Sounds of gears turning and crease being used as lube. Fun fact, in the industrial age. Industrial lube was often stolen and used for personal use at home. Because nothing says sexy like being the slipperiest motherfucker in bed. After wandering around for a bit. looking for wifi became the last of her worries. Suddenly a loud eruption of noise bursted around into the room. The sound of Billys being rustled, Axe Body Spray being used as cologne. It was clear that it was Mushroom and Mr. Sir Logan. The two stood there as they talked about the latest issue of PlayGirl Monthly with rumors of a new Mr. September on the way.

Mushroom went on and on about his John Cena plush doll collection as smegma oozed from Logan's mouth. The constant sound of a mariachi band played in his head like a broken record. With a sudden "kill me" thought from time to time. Natters watched from one of the catwalks above them as they continued their conversation. However a herd of elephants came crashing from the ceiling and crushed through the catwalk. Natters barely jumped out of the way of the elephant, but went down with the catwalk. Sounds of elephants being impaled on sharp objects and the sound of metal crashed onto the floor. "Well, well, well, look at what we have here", said Mushroom as he drew his handgun. Inaudible english came from Logan as the smegma continued to flow, like the raging Colorado River. Natters held up her hands as she stood up. "Looks like the DG came to us", Mushroom said as he smirked. "So maybe we came to you guys but that is **irrelephant** ", she said as she falcon kicked him into the way of a stampeding elephant. The elephant roared as it smashed Mushroom with his large foot. He broke every bone in his body and ended being in an "Iron Butt" the rest of his forsaken life. Natters then quickly drew her gun and shot Logan in the spine paralyzing him from the waist down and break his back. She took this opportunity to "help" him. She took his pants off revealing his ass cheeks. She spread his cheeks apart and positioned Logan's head. She then thrusted and Logan was neck deep in his own ass. Smegma gushed out like the first time you open a yogurt cup and little bits of yogurt squirt out after shaking it to mix up all the yogurty goodness. He lived the rest of his life walking around like a chicken with smegma spewing from the creases of his body. He became popular in Mexican culture however. He became known as the two legged stank machine. Or in spanish: "culo apestoso".

Cheyenne was on a mission. A mission for revenge. She devoted her life to her mission. She vowed to get revenge. With this fueling her bloodthirsty rage, she was unstoppable. She tore every Mytho she came a across a new asshole. Which would really be convenient if you hate pooping because twice the holes means that you get your shit out faster. Or at least it makes sense to me. Science bitch. She made her way through the ship, not even bothering with the mission that was planned for everyone. She went on her own accords. She made it to one of the living quarters of the ship. She made it to the end of a hallway and found a door covered in anime posters. She was in the right place. She took her steel-toed boot and kicked the door down to reveal the room was covered in anime. It smelled of shame and ramen noodles and pocky sticks. Body pillows of various anime girls and hentai left open on a laptop could only mean one thing. It was Howling's room.

Howling came out of the bathroom after 48 hour fap session to underage anime girls only proved how weaboo he was. That and the fact that he had so much japanese shit in his room. He was in a mid yawn before he noticed Cheyenne standing in the doorway. "Shit, what are you doing here?!", he said as his white washed faced turned another shade whiter. "I just dropped by to let you know that I have your dick pics that you sent me and I went ahead and posted them to every dating app and social network possible and linked your name to them, she said as she knocked him out with her bat. The last words before he faded from consciousness were "GG".

Howling woke up to find that all his limbs were missing except for his penis and his head. So basically he was just a torso. He laid there in his room as "Never Gonna Give You Up", the classic pop hit by Rick Astley played over and over and over. Soon knocking came onto the door were various former prison members that were horny and looking for a good time. Behind them were the local gay biker gang and the male fans of Coldplay. After they raped him, they killed him and left his body in an open field outside of Memphis. It was over now. Cheyenne could finally rest easy as her troubles faded away from her. She eventually moved to the Philippines where she became a lonely goat farmer and lived the rest of her days helping the local kids read and write so they could better their lives. A movie was eventually made in her honor. They titled it "The Longest Yard", starring Adam Sandler. She eventually passed away on a cool september morning in 2095. They made a statue in her honor so that it could serve as a reminder not to send your dick pics to somebody who you are going to screw over.


	11. Chapter 11

Draco Grotto

Chapter 11: The Betrayal

The sound of latex and shame squeaked across the hallway floor. Chains jingled, the smell of a ball gag loomed from the suit. Punk shuffled his way down a hallway in hopes of finding Madam Rin. "Madam Rin? Madam Rin? Oh where could she of run off to this time?", he wondered. Meanwhile, Rin was busy poking out eyes with her dildo basebat. Otherwise known as Excalibur. Her floppy, black gloss painted member flopped from skull to skull. However a figure dashed through the crowd of the Mythos. One very familiar to her.

He dashed through the Mythos as Rin bashed each one of their skulls in. As bodies hit the floor, the numbers dwindled. The figure became more and more present for her. She saw his face. It brought back memories and hidden secrets to her that she wanted to break down and cry. She dropped her overly large fuck buddy. It fell to the floor and rolled away as the two stood there facing eachother.

Punk, still searching, hobbled from room to room. Unfortunately he could not find Madam Rin. However instead he found Master Space in the spaghetti storage room, eyeing a can of Prego Spaghetti Sauce. "Master Space! Im so glad I could find you, Madam Rin has gone missing and we must move poste haste!", he exclaimed. As Space stuffed the sauce into his pocket to keep the noodles at home, he turned to him and said, "Then we have no time to waste! Let's go!". The two made their way from floor to floor. They stumbled upon multiple bodies with dildo bruises and outstretched assholes. Don't ask how they knew that second part. That's ShortFry's thing. Im not into buttstuff. The bodies led into a room where multiple bodies could be found. However when they got into the doorway, they saw two figures in arms kissing amongst the bodies. "Madam Rin?!", Punk cried.

Rin broke off from her engagement with the figure. She turned towards Punk and Space. "Im sorry", she said as her and the figure began to make their way towards the back of the room that lead to an elevator. "Im sorry, but Katten and I share history", she said as the elevator doors closed behind them. Space and Punk both dropped their heads in sorrow to see their best friend/lover leave them for the Mythos. She had betrayed both their trust and the trust of DG. Turbo came bursting into the room and slipped on a banana peel.

Turbo awoke from his coma to find himself in a hospital. There were no doctors or anybody in the room when he awoke. There were no clocks to tell what the time was or anything to tell him where he was other than in a hospital. The room was white, along with his matching bed sheets and frame. He checked his wrist to check where he was. However there was no decided to get up and search around for any clues. There was no window to his room, so he must of been on the ground floor. He left his room only to find his exact same room. And in his bed was him awaking from his coma and doing the same thing. However he could not see himself. He merely walked by and exited the door. He tried following himself only to find the same thing happening. Over and over this happened. Eventually he went insane and realized that he was in limbo and there was no escape from his coma. Damn banana peel got him. Curse your tasty fruitness and healthy effects.

Meanwhile, Punk and Space witnessed the display of Turbo slipping on said banana peel. It looked rather silly, however reality came back to them when Rin betrayed them. They quickly radioed in the event that just transpired. Morale sunk as they learned of their loss. However they kept going even with the loss of a loved one.

"So this is where you ran off to after you left us?", Katten asked. "You know I left for my own reasons, I didn't mean to be so cold.", she replied. The two got closer. "I knew you would come back when you heard I was working for Mythos", he said. "You just seem to know me all too well", she said as she embraced him for a hug. "Then why not come back home where you belong?", he asked. "I'd be leaving the ones here that I'm fighting for". She replied as they kissed. "But would you come back for me?", he asked. They took a long pause before she grabbed him by the hands and kissed him to seal the deal. At that moment, Punk and Space came into the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Draco Grotto

Chapter 12: Punk Sucks Big Dongers

In the begining, Punk sucked massive dong. The year was 1942, Hitler just had won the war and Hillary Clinton had just begun her presidency. During her reign of fire and fear, there were a group of people who did not agree with her views. So instead, they were seen as traitors and were blasted into space left to die. However there were a few survivors that managed to live and thrive on their own planets. Where The Mythos came from there was a legend that a ruler would select their strongest champions to conquer the worlds that had threatened their size and army. Earth fell to the Champion of Katten. That is how he earned his role fighting alongside some of the strongest Mythos there were. However during the battle between Mythos and BrownTownica there was an alien girl with squinty eyes ( ͡- ͜ʖ ͡-). She was supposed to be executed by Katten himself after her capture, but however in the process she had "managed to escape mysteriously".

After fleeing from the Mythos, Rin found her way to the planet of DG. There she blended in and gained respect and was given the title of Guardian. Not many receive that title. Most are born into it or gain it through great acts of devotion and dedication. However, neither did Space or Punk see this coming. The two did not have to think more about it as they regrouped with the others.

The rest of the gang gathered in the central hall to discuss their next move. Inverted gathered everyone close to let everyone know what happened. There was a knock on the airlock door. Space went over to the door and opened it to see Jake From State Farm with a pepperoni pizza. Flo quickly paid him in Rare Pepes and then proceeded to kick him back into the airlock and shut the door in front of him. He then depressurized the airlock and sent him flying in space. Those Rare Pepes were never seen again.

"Well were about 10 yards or a hallway's length from a definate last stand. We must go in balls to the walls. Not literally Punk, put your pants back on!", she said as Punk whipped out his donger from his latex suit. It must be really sweating by now with all that hobbling. "So let's arm the fuck up and go in there with our stomping boots and kick some ass!", she yelled as everyone held up their weapons that they had gathered along the way. I think someone had a trident. Where the fuck do you get one of those things?! Probably Ebay or Amazon.

They stomped their way down the hallway knowing they were to face certain doom or die trying to protect the planet of DG. Each and every one of them knew that. They held their colors true and true alongside those they had fought with to protect and safeguard. They didn't cared if they died. They wanted to see the look on their faces when they came stomping in with flame throwers, dildos, and other various weapons that would not make appropriate sense for the situation. They charged the door and broke through to reveal the last remaining Mythos standing there ready to fight. And the man himself, Walker, had been retrofitted to fit the last parts of his remaining body to a battlemech so that he too could engage in the brawl. "Well boys…", Wendell said. "They better get some lube".


	13. Chapter 13

Draco Grotto

Chapter 13: The End Of DG

An old friend once told me once, "No matter where come from, or where you go. You will always have a home here with us". That meant something to me. It still does to this day. I've never felt so comfortable knowing that my friends will be there fighting along my side against any asshole or thing that gets in our way. I just wish the way things ended were different…

Mecha-Walker-With-Aids took a battle stance and in a Stephen Hawking like voice he spoke. "Welcome to my domain. You are all surrounded. Give up now and you will be killed less painfully." Wendell pushed her way to the front of the group and threw a dildo at the mech. However it only bounced off and landed on the ground. Inverted yelled, "CLARE YOU FAT CUNT COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A REAL BITCH THAT YOU ARE!", and so the battle begun as everyone charged. "I Need A Hero", by Bonnie Tyler began to play as the fight went on. Kestro snuck off while everyone began to brawl. Flo went into his final form and ripped off his chest to reveal hair in places I didn't think were possible to grow hair. He had become The Mega Wolf Hulk Fuckarooni. He picked up Mytho Guards into the air and ripped them apart furiously as their innards became outards. They screamed as they saw what was their lower half become nothing but literally half what they used to be. He chased down fleeing Mythos and began to devour them with his chainsaw hand. I don't think chainsaws were meant to tear through the human body, but damn does Craftsman do a fine job at making their chainsaws.

Cheyenne leaped onto Mythos, tearing their eyeballs out as she hummed "Jeepers Creepers". "Jeepers.. Creepers… Where'd you get those eyes?" was all the Mythos heard over their screaming as they became blind and retarded. She then bent their knees back so that they would snap backwards and wiggle around like spaghetti noodles. Her fierce anger fueled her blood rage as she literally tore through the Mythos. At this point you may be wondering how no Mytho has managed to land a single shot on anyone. Well the day before they all contracted Parkinson's disease. How convenient for the story plot.

Natters somehow found a horse and rode in on it holding a flamethrower. Mythos were both confused and extra crispy when they saw the horse galloping through as they were turned into human toast. Out of nowhere Mecha-Walker's foot came down and crushed Flo as he went for a doggie bone. Flo let out a yelp of pain before dying underneath Walker's foot. "You killed Flo! You bastard!", Space yelled as he shot an rpg at Walker's knee cap. His knee joint gave out like his grandfather's did before he went tumbling down the stairs at the old folks home.

Inverted stood there before Clare. "Well looks like we meet again", Clare said as she looked coldly into Inverted eyes. "I'll never forget what you did on Chromozone 8 you cunt!", Inverted said as a flashback to the past overwhelmed the viewer's perspective. The year was 2095, cast-aways from the Hillary Clinton Space Program were exiled out into space. Two of the survivors, Inverted and Clare were two of the people that were exiled from Earth. Clare and Inverted both shared the same release pod that had been rocketed out towards Uranus. However the pod had missed its course by several miles and it was rocketed out to what is now known as DG. The pod crashed but the two survived. However Clare left her for dead as she blasted off in the escape pod that they worked together to fix. From that day Clare became known as a soggy cunt.

Clare came at her like Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball. Inverted came at Clare like a spidermonkey all jacked up on Mountain Dew. The two withdrew their weapons at fast speeds. Clare unloaded her rocket launcher and fired three shots. Thankfully Inverted withdrew her bucket of hot wax and threw it at her face. The three rockets then hit Rav3n who was shot and exploded into potatoes. Whoops. The hot wax burned into her face creating the ultimate face mask for any occasion. I guess makeup wasn't a problem for her anymore. Just then Kestro came crashing into the side of the ship with his pirate ship. The ship itself penetrated through multiple Mythos and Betty White. Poor Betty White. The nose of the ship pierced through Walker's Mech. Circuits and sparks went flying as Walker's Mecha kneeled as the rotors ceased to work.

"Yarggg"! He yelled as pirates came out the whazoo. Pirates came flooding out of the ship as the Mythos retaliated. Swords and gun shots filled the room as dildos and Doritos flew across the air. It smelled of jizz stains on a used couch on a hot summer's day. Kestro himself jumped down and hobbled his way over to the battle. He then broke off his peg leg and came up behind Clare and shoved it up her ass. Many splinters were felt that day. But no one experienced such a pain that Clare experienced. Her face now looked like a faceless barbie doll with an odd wooden tail. Inverted then took to her power tools and pulled out a drill to drill two perfect holes in Clare's palms. She then took her sewing scissors and cut off both the tips of her nips. Then shoved them into her nostrils as a homemade booger blocker. Clare died an extremely and painful death. The end.

Walker's Brain, which was being held in a fancy jar of water and a voice modular fell out of his mech and rolled onto the floor. Wendell then gave him the proper Compton Curbstomp. His brains went splattering everywhere on the walls. He was nothing more than a puddle on the floor now. Rin quickly ran for the escape only to see Katten getting anally penetrated by a vine before her. She lept out to go back for him but it was too late. The doors had shut airtight, slicing her body in half.

The pirate ship began to bulge as space slowly sucked the large mass back out through the hole it made. Kestro jumped back onto his ship and proclaimed, "A captain goes down with his ship!". The ship was sucked into an oncoming asteroid that exploded it into a million of pieces due the fact that his highly flammable rum supply was just below deck. It was a wonder to see as it started a chain explosion. The ship started to rumble like my stomach after watching the food channel. Everyone scrambled for the exit. Women and children were being trampled and pillaged as the crew made their way out of there. Small children were thrown off balconies. Abortions were being performed in the streets. Dogs and cats came raining out of the sky. The crew managed to make it just in time as the ship exploded into a miniature mushroom cloud. The explosion sent shivers throughout the city. All was quiet now.

The dust settled and all was quiet now. Everyone looked around expecting gunfire, but instead there was nothing. "We did it?", one of the voices said. Space looked around for a second and said, "We did it guys…", Everyone busted out into a cheer of joy. Tears were seen on everyone's faces. Everyone gathered around Space and all had the same question on their mind. Spyra came up to Space and asked, "So now that you fulfilled the prophecy, now what?". Space looked up for a moment and looked back down at his spaghetti sauce. He took a breath and said, "Well we managed to defeat the Mythos here, but they will be back. There will be more of them coming our way. There will be more of them, stronger, and much more harder than an old man on Viagra." Inverted turned to him and said, "Then we'll be ready for them!". Space laughed and said, "Mythos are the least of our worries. Reports show BrownTownians and EGento are moving into our solar system. This may be the end of DG, but the beginning of something bigger for us."

Epilogue

Though the story comes to an end here. Life goes on. During the process and writing of this fiction, we've experienced many emotions. Comfort, hurt, betrayal, humor. But most importantly, we grow together as a community. Though some member are not permanent. Their impressions that they made last with us forever. This is to you. This is to the readers who kept up with the series from chapter 1. This is my gift to everyone. Thank you all for supporting and lending me your personalities to help inspire and create the world that has been written before you. Thank you. Rest in peace Kestro.


	14. Series 2 Chapter 1

Series 2: Chapter 1

Let It All Sink In

Cinx awoke from his dehydrated slumber. His mouth was crusty from the night before and his lips were covered in dry toothpaste that had been used and spit back at him. He wondered how long he slept. However to his surprise he was still in his bed. This was a surprise to him because usually he would end up waking up in strange places with a variety of liquids upon his face. Every time he went out drinking he would always have a sinking feeling in the back of his mind of where he might end up. Thankfully today it was in the comfort of his home.

He walked into his bathroom after ten minutes of convincing himself to get up out of bed. He hopped in the shower hoping to end the numbness in his body and start the gears in his head. He spent twenty minutes just standing around, and another five minutes of actually shampooing and conditioning. After his long overdue shower he reached for his towel on the towel rack only to realize that he had left his only towel on the counter next to the mirror. "My day keeps getting better and better", he thought. He slipped and slid his way to the counter to swiftly put on his towel.

He peered into the steamed filled mirror to better look at himself. His long white ceramic figure had almost a polish to it. "Geez I should get a tan he thought to himself". His arms were a tad short and his legs came to form a trunk like structure that would end at his feet. He felt rooted at times but he felt comfortable in his body. He contemplated if he had time for a quick one and decided to rush to his room since he was still unclothed.

Tingles rushed up his body as he pondered all the naughty ideas in his head. He couldn't resist the temptation any longer. He reached for his phone and quickly went to the Home Depotwebsite. He browsed through pages and pages until he found what he wanted. He was hotter than a roadkill in a midsummer's day. He threw off the bed covers and began his deep dark descent into his lustful desires. He fiddled with his faucet. He turned his handle from hot to cold really fast. He thrusted his pop up into his flange back and forth with the handle behind his spout. The sheer sight was riveting to watch. Finally he turned his handle to hot until the water came out steaming. The intensity of the heat and water splashed against his bowl. He was reaching his breaking point when he swung his spout to and fro, causing the stream of water to dance back and forth all over the bowl. Finally he came back down to a luke warm stream and let all the water fall into his flange and gently make its way down into his plumbing. He was all tapped out.

With all the hot water being used for Cinx's "Morning routine", this would cause a stir from his mother, who would be taking an unappreciated cold shower in the next five minutes. Cinx knew he was going to be grounded for sure but boy was it worth it. Rin on que came into his room to yell at her sink of a son that she called Cinx. This earful and a grounding would be the start to the two's day.


	15. Chapter 15

Update.

"I have become what I beheld", from David Mamet. What happens when you become what you've hated the most? For the longest time I've stood against currents that would otherwise flood us over if were not for those that stood by me. However now the current has shifted and changed directions. I would have otherwise gone with the flow. However now I now see the repercussions of our actions. To be honest I did not see this one coming but then again I was not surprised to discover this. I am mostly disappointed with it all.

I understand lies and deception. Hell, I've been a part of it. At first I tried to justify my actions by viewing it as in the view of good. I now no longer see that view anymore. There have certain moments where I've seen repeatable moments that we have seen before. I moved on from it all. I came clean and tried to make anew to all of you. I stood out and stood as myself. Those who I trusted for a long time have now since gone dark and kept myself and others in the dark and even at one point lied to keep us there.

Detachment leaves the wandering mind left many questions and no answers. With the ever rotating change in authority, it is hard to keep up. Understandably, I myself have been out of the loop for a while. However the loss in seniority and respect for it has been blurred with translation. The loss of respect is a rather huge part in the detachment. Those who have been close now seem distant now. Everything now seems distant.

In conclusion, there must be a solution to this before things come to the point of anger. So I have made it a point to stop here and make my departure from here. As for the stories they shall end here and I shall begin other projects that I have wished to work on for a long while now. I would like to thank you for the times we have shared. Farewell

-W


End file.
